Monday, December 16, 2013
Baby!
The last week of the term was spent with my newborn son, Zeppelin. It has been wonderfully exciting and tiring. School, work, internship and a baby make for a busy dad. However, no matter how tired I am, I can't help but give thanks for the blessing of having the best distraction a guy could ask for, a happy and healthy baby.
Reading Week
This last week was more of a catch-up week as I was working on wrapping things up. I spent the majority of the week reading and going over the meeting summaries. It has been helpful and beneficial.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Looking Back
As I look back on this last semester and working with these practitioners, I can't help but feel so blessed. I feel as though I have been able to work with some of the best people in the field, and have been able to work with a group that was not only in need of help, but very willing to receive it. I think about the first meetings and how we talked for hours about this organization and what we could bring to the table to help them. It was in that meeting that I became really excited for the semester because my voice was heard. I wasn't just a fly on the wall, which would have been great with me to sit back and observe how the pro's do it, but I was able to speak and be heard. It was a nice reminder that everyone has something to offer, and to teach us. We need to remember to be patient and kind, and look for the good in what people share. You can never teach a bad lesson to a good student, and if we are good students we will constantly be learning.
I did my best to be a good student and to work hard to observe best practices from experienced practitioners of Conflict Resolution. I thoroughly enjoy the work, and love the principles found therein. I enjoy my current job, and what I have learned, but can't wait to be able to work more in the area that I am passionate about. Having been able to work with an organization for an extended period of time helped me to understand the complexity of it all, and to reaffirm my love for the field and all that it has to offer. I truly hope that someday I am able to provide similar services to the ones that I had the privilege to observe over the course of this semester.
I did my best to be a good student and to work hard to observe best practices from experienced practitioners of Conflict Resolution. I thoroughly enjoy the work, and love the principles found therein. I enjoy my current job, and what I have learned, but can't wait to be able to work more in the area that I am passionate about. Having been able to work with an organization for an extended period of time helped me to understand the complexity of it all, and to reaffirm my love for the field and all that it has to offer. I truly hope that someday I am able to provide similar services to the ones that I had the privilege to observe over the course of this semester.
Remembering Humanity
As I walked around the hotel getting ready for the meeting, I was reminded quickly of how easily we can forget the differences that make us human. I walked into the room and arranged some of the chairs, made sure that the glasses had water and that there were no wires or cords for people to trip on (after all, we are working with a group of visually impaired business people). In walked a couple of people from the group, and I said hello, while forgetting for a split second that they had only met me once before in person, and that my voice wasn't all that special to remember... and that they could only have seen me partially blurred at best. Thus, I was reminded that we can be too quick to forget the things that make us unique and different. I then reminded them who I was and what I was doing there, and asked if they needed anything.
After a while we started to go around the room, when working on the consensus process spoken of earlier, and were voicing our opinions and thoughts on the matters at hand. We had most of the people physically present, but had a few on the phone, and were having difficulties hearing them, and they us. We talked with the hotel and were able to acquire a microphone. I had the pleasure, as the intern, to go around the room and help people to use the microphone when it was their turn so that everyone could hear each other. Once again, as I approached the first person, I stretched forth the microphone to hand it to the person, but being visually impaired they did not see this. I felt so silly... but remembered my experience earlier and just thought that I was still learning the culture of this organization and people, and needed another reminder of that. After that I started to understand how to instruct people on when to speak, how close to hold it to their mouth, and when it was appropriate to hand it to them, in a manner that they could receive it.
While this wasn't the best day for me, and my lack of thoughtfulness and understanding for this group of people, I was very grateful for the reminder of the humanity of all of us, and that we need to remember how different and unique everyone is... and that THAT is what makes us human... and humanity.
After a while we started to go around the room, when working on the consensus process spoken of earlier, and were voicing our opinions and thoughts on the matters at hand. We had most of the people physically present, but had a few on the phone, and were having difficulties hearing them, and they us. We talked with the hotel and were able to acquire a microphone. I had the pleasure, as the intern, to go around the room and help people to use the microphone when it was their turn so that everyone could hear each other. Once again, as I approached the first person, I stretched forth the microphone to hand it to the person, but being visually impaired they did not see this. I felt so silly... but remembered my experience earlier and just thought that I was still learning the culture of this organization and people, and needed another reminder of that. After that I started to understand how to instruct people on when to speak, how close to hold it to their mouth, and when it was appropriate to hand it to them, in a manner that they could receive it.
While this wasn't the best day for me, and my lack of thoughtfulness and understanding for this group of people, I was very grateful for the reminder of the humanity of all of us, and that we need to remember how different and unique everyone is... and that THAT is what makes us human... and humanity.
Collaboration
Now that we have taught and worked on the ability to build consensus, I would like to now address the ability to collaborate. In the middle portion of the consensus process talked about in the last post, we saw that there is an opportunity to talk about the reservations that people have. It is in this process, or period, that relationships can be strengthened and collaboration can occur.
The relationship is strengthened because there is an open and honest discussion about whatever the issues may be that are holding a person back from moving forward, or having the desire to move forward with a proposed idea. Typically the discussion would contain many questions that help to understand a person's point of view, such as: "why do you feel that way?", "what would help to change your mind?", "Is there anything else that is bothering you regarding this idea or process that you have not yet voiced?". These are just a few examples of questions that can be and are often used to be able to know how a person is feeling at this point in the process. The second question in those examples is where I think some of the most power comes from in the collaborative process.
To be able to talk about what might change a person's mind is key in the step of building ideas and new strategies to move forward as a group. In the group that we are working with, this was demonstrated with scheduling, and what day of the week would work best for some people to meet and talk about future actions of the group. They talked about what days would be best, and then asked the small percentage of people that couldn't do the day that most people could, why they could'nt do that day. After a few minutes, they were able to decide a day and a time that would fits nearly everybody's schedule, and were able to successfully collaborate on an issue for the betterment of the group as a whole. It was great to watch, and a great lession on collaboration.
Consensus Building
We had a meeting with the group over the last weekend, and talked about how to build consensus. We first talked about how things had been going since the last meeting/training. It's important to check in to be able to feel out the environment as well as hear any important feedback or concerns since the last meeting. This is also a time where you can check on any assignments or tasks that were asked to be done at the last meeting. And so, we did this, we checked in with people and addressed any concerns that were raised. It went very well.
We then talked about how a group can work together to build consensus. The process that we used and explained to them was based on a number system. You used numbers 1-5, and each number represents a feeling or disposition for the item at hand. For example, if we were talking about making banana break for the neighbors down the street, and we were a family of four, we would go around to all four members of the family and asked how they felt about the idea. Mom says a 2, which would mean that she would be okay with it, but that it wouldn't be her first choice. Dad says he is a 1, which would mean that he was all for it and had no reservations. Susie says she is a 1, so she also has no reservations. Johnny says that he is a 4, meaning that he REALLY doesn't want to do it, and his reasoning is that the neighbor's little boy was picking on Johnny the other day at school and making fun of him.
The process would be to ask the numbers, and then go around again to see what the reservations are for each of the individuals. We would then discuss these reservations and look into possible other options and ways to address the concerns that exist. After coming up with ideas, and putting them into place, we would then go around again and ask the individuals what their NEW number is, now that the concerns have been addressed. Depending on how this goes, you may need to repeat this process, or decide that you will be operating on a majority vote basis.
This is only one way to build consensus. This is the way that we taught the group, and helped them to practice it with the real concerns that they had as an organization. Overall, I think that it went really well, but could tell that the directions could be slightly confusing. I think a part of that was that people weren't able to have directions in front of them because of their impairments with vision. Depending on the group, you would just need to figure out how to best explain the process to the group. The idea here is to help build the unity in the group and to then strengthen the organization.
We then talked about how a group can work together to build consensus. The process that we used and explained to them was based on a number system. You used numbers 1-5, and each number represents a feeling or disposition for the item at hand. For example, if we were talking about making banana break for the neighbors down the street, and we were a family of four, we would go around to all four members of the family and asked how they felt about the idea. Mom says a 2, which would mean that she would be okay with it, but that it wouldn't be her first choice. Dad says he is a 1, which would mean that he was all for it and had no reservations. Susie says she is a 1, so she also has no reservations. Johnny says that he is a 4, meaning that he REALLY doesn't want to do it, and his reasoning is that the neighbor's little boy was picking on Johnny the other day at school and making fun of him.
The process would be to ask the numbers, and then go around again to see what the reservations are for each of the individuals. We would then discuss these reservations and look into possible other options and ways to address the concerns that exist. After coming up with ideas, and putting them into place, we would then go around again and ask the individuals what their NEW number is, now that the concerns have been addressed. Depending on how this goes, you may need to repeat this process, or decide that you will be operating on a majority vote basis.
This is only one way to build consensus. This is the way that we taught the group, and helped them to practice it with the real concerns that they had as an organization. Overall, I think that it went really well, but could tell that the directions could be slightly confusing. I think a part of that was that people weren't able to have directions in front of them because of their impairments with vision. Depending on the group, you would just need to figure out how to best explain the process to the group. The idea here is to help build the unity in the group and to then strengthen the organization.
Rocking Chair revisited
Maybe it was fate or maybe it was a sign from the universe, but the post on the Rocking Chair Syndrome has come full circle with an event during the week following the post. I know that I am a little late in writing about this, but better late than never.
The group that I have been working with has been very impressive, to say the least, at working together in group meetings and being able to articulate some of their needs and desires for the group. The group gatherings seem to be very productive, at least from what I have been able to see so far. However, what I have noticed is that the meetings are a front, and people will put on a good show for one another, in hopes that they might win over the majority vote in the public eye. What happens after the meetings is that some of the true wishes and desires surface, and some of the steps and progress that had been made at the previous meeting is then undermined and cut down. Please don't mistake my words for saying that there are people who lie and deceive and are only good people in meetings; that is not what I am saying here. All of these people are good people, and have the best intentions, but seem to not be completely open with one another in a group setting. This is not uncommon by any means as there are many people that would like to save face in the public eye and speak their peace in private.
Now, in terms of progress, this causes the work to move forward, and then back a couple of steps... just like a rocking chair. The ideas are shared and progress is made in the meetings, but then afterward, the unspoken words and thoughts cause grounds for regression and more meetings because what appeared to have been resolved is really just beginning to surface. This is not all bad when looking at the big picture, so long as what's beneath the surface really does come out eventually, but if practiced for an extended period of time, the damage caused to the organization and group could become too much for worthwhile repair. Redemption is never completely out of reach for people, but for organizations that are trying to accomplish something, sometimes the time does indeed pass and it is no longer a viable option to continue together. Let us continually be aware of the Rocking Chair Syndrome.
The group that I have been working with has been very impressive, to say the least, at working together in group meetings and being able to articulate some of their needs and desires for the group. The group gatherings seem to be very productive, at least from what I have been able to see so far. However, what I have noticed is that the meetings are a front, and people will put on a good show for one another, in hopes that they might win over the majority vote in the public eye. What happens after the meetings is that some of the true wishes and desires surface, and some of the steps and progress that had been made at the previous meeting is then undermined and cut down. Please don't mistake my words for saying that there are people who lie and deceive and are only good people in meetings; that is not what I am saying here. All of these people are good people, and have the best intentions, but seem to not be completely open with one another in a group setting. This is not uncommon by any means as there are many people that would like to save face in the public eye and speak their peace in private.
Now, in terms of progress, this causes the work to move forward, and then back a couple of steps... just like a rocking chair. The ideas are shared and progress is made in the meetings, but then afterward, the unspoken words and thoughts cause grounds for regression and more meetings because what appeared to have been resolved is really just beginning to surface. This is not all bad when looking at the big picture, so long as what's beneath the surface really does come out eventually, but if practiced for an extended period of time, the damage caused to the organization and group could become too much for worthwhile repair. Redemption is never completely out of reach for people, but for organizations that are trying to accomplish something, sometimes the time does indeed pass and it is no longer a viable option to continue together. Let us continually be aware of the Rocking Chair Syndrome.
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