Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Last Week/Off
This week has been spent finishing up the odds and ends, and I have not been working on the internship as much this week, seeing as most things are "wrapping up". Thanks for reading!
After the Wrap
This week has been one of going through many google and yahoo searches. I am working with one of the practitioners to see about getting some of his articles out there and get published. I haven't ever done anything like this before, so it has been both informative and taxing. I learn from experience though, so this really HAS been a great process.
Monday, March 17, 2014
"That's a wrap"
Growing up I learned that some of our really good friends worked in the movie industry. This person has done many different jobs/roles in the industry from producing to directing, and has done many large films. I won't state his name, but just reference him as a person that I would hear saying, "That's a wrap". As I look back on the terms of internships and the experiences that I have had, I can't help but think that it has all been such a learning experience. I have worked with facilitators, mediators, lawyers and non-profit directors. I have used Spanish and English, and have learned so much. I have had the opportunity to work with people of many different cultures and backgrounds and have been able to watch some of the greatest practitioners in the NW train and work with people in the area to better understand what "conflict" means and how to healthily use it.
As I get ready to wrap up this last term of internships, I want to commit to continuing to learn. As I mentioned in the evaluation post, I have learned that I need to continue being curious and to be a constant learner. There are many things and teachings that can come from the people that I have been working with, and I know there will continue to be opportunities in the future. I don't want to stop learning and developing my capacity for understand conflict, what it means, and how to help others (and myself) to learn how it might benefit us. Conflict is not an easy thing to understand, but I do feel that my internships have helped me to better understand it, and how to use it for good. I know that I am not quite to the point that I could go out and make a business out of my services, but I do think that I have services that could benefit others. As I continue to learn, I hope that I can better know how I can help and provide these services at a level that benefits others, and helps me to follow my passion for understanding and collaborative peacebuilding.
Here is to the future, and here is to the past. I can't help but be thankful, and think about the time that I have had to work with people, and think "That's a wrap."
As I get ready to wrap up this last term of internships, I want to commit to continuing to learn. As I mentioned in the evaluation post, I have learned that I need to continue being curious and to be a constant learner. There are many things and teachings that can come from the people that I have been working with, and I know there will continue to be opportunities in the future. I don't want to stop learning and developing my capacity for understand conflict, what it means, and how to help others (and myself) to learn how it might benefit us. Conflict is not an easy thing to understand, but I do feel that my internships have helped me to better understand it, and how to use it for good. I know that I am not quite to the point that I could go out and make a business out of my services, but I do think that I have services that could benefit others. As I continue to learn, I hope that I can better know how I can help and provide these services at a level that benefits others, and helps me to follow my passion for understanding and collaborative peacebuilding.
Here is to the future, and here is to the past. I can't help but be thankful, and think about the time that I have had to work with people, and think "That's a wrap."
A glimpse at the Future (hopefully)
This week I had the opportunity to attend a training that one of the practitioners I am working with provided for an organization in the Portland area. Unfortunately, the 25 minutes buffer that I provided myself wasn't enough and I was late to the start of the training. However, I understand that I wasn't the only one and that it was simply "one of those days" for traffic.
As I sat there observing the training, I couldn't help but think that things were going well, and that I was getting really excited for the day when I could be the one providing such a training. I watched the trainers interact with the people, and provide them with skills on dealing with conflict in the workplace. There were people from different departments of the organization, and most of them didn't know each other. However, the ability of the trainers to make all feel welcome and help them to work together was amazing. It was done with such great skill that I didn't know until later that they were different departments and many hadn't know each other before. This continued to excite me.
I felt like a little schoolboy watching his dad give a presentation on what he does as show and tell, and being both so proud of their parent and so excited to be them someday. While the trainers aren't old enough to be my parents, and it doesn't seem as though we have that relationship, the help that they have provided me as mentors in my studies and during the course of my internship has been that of a caring guardian. I am grateful for this, and can't help but be excited that someday I can not only be able to provide the training types of services for organizations, but also to mentor another person interested in the field to see a glimpse of their possible future as well.
As I sat there observing the training, I couldn't help but think that things were going well, and that I was getting really excited for the day when I could be the one providing such a training. I watched the trainers interact with the people, and provide them with skills on dealing with conflict in the workplace. There were people from different departments of the organization, and most of them didn't know each other. However, the ability of the trainers to make all feel welcome and help them to work together was amazing. It was done with such great skill that I didn't know until later that they were different departments and many hadn't know each other before. This continued to excite me.
I felt like a little schoolboy watching his dad give a presentation on what he does as show and tell, and being both so proud of their parent and so excited to be them someday. While the trainers aren't old enough to be my parents, and it doesn't seem as though we have that relationship, the help that they have provided me as mentors in my studies and during the course of my internship has been that of a caring guardian. I am grateful for this, and can't help but be excited that someday I can not only be able to provide the training types of services for organizations, but also to mentor another person interested in the field to see a glimpse of their possible future as well.
Mid-Term Evaluations
This week we were asked to discuss a few things with our supervisors regarding the internship and how we are progressing with things. Let me just first say that this was very insightful and helpful, and I am appreciative of the feedback. In general, I always grateful for constructive criticism and feedback (even if it doesn't seem like it at the time I receive it). I was getting ready to leave town for the weekend and sent the evaluation to my supervisor to fill out and get back to me.
I was in the middle of NE Oregon when I saw an email that she had received/solicited feedback from the people I've been working with and that she was wanting to talk. I called her and let her know that I was driving and had all the time that she needed to talk. We ended up talking for about 2 hours total, with a small break between so that she could wrap some other things up. The conversation went very well, and she had great feedback from those I have worked with.
Some of the things that we talked about was the idea of being curious, and to ask questions of those that have experience. I sometimes feel like I have something that I need to prove, or that I need to be seen as someone that has training and knowledge in the field of study that I am in. While it may be true that I do have some training, experience and knowledge, it is also true that I can't possibly have the insight that someone in the field for 10-20 years would have. Thus, the idea of being curious and asking why they do things they do or how they came to that conclusion, or what would they do differently, or in a different circumstance. This was some of the feedback from both my supervisor and those that I have been working with.
Following up/checking in is another thing that sometimes I have a hard time doing. As a grad student/employee/husband/new-father sometimes I get busy and become forgetful of the things that I have going on, and I forget to check in on the assignments that I have and letting people know my progress. I often just work on things, but need to make sure that I am keeping abreast those with whom I am working so they can know I am in fact working on things, and that they and the assignment haven't been forgotten.
We talked about many other things, but overall these were the ideas that stood out to me, that I need to remember that I can ALWAYS learn something from those I am working with and that I need to be better at staying in the loop, and keep others in the loop. The process was very helpful for me, and I believe has cause me to try a bit harder... hopefully it shows.
I was in the middle of NE Oregon when I saw an email that she had received/solicited feedback from the people I've been working with and that she was wanting to talk. I called her and let her know that I was driving and had all the time that she needed to talk. We ended up talking for about 2 hours total, with a small break between so that she could wrap some other things up. The conversation went very well, and she had great feedback from those I have worked with.
Some of the things that we talked about was the idea of being curious, and to ask questions of those that have experience. I sometimes feel like I have something that I need to prove, or that I need to be seen as someone that has training and knowledge in the field of study that I am in. While it may be true that I do have some training, experience and knowledge, it is also true that I can't possibly have the insight that someone in the field for 10-20 years would have. Thus, the idea of being curious and asking why they do things they do or how they came to that conclusion, or what would they do differently, or in a different circumstance. This was some of the feedback from both my supervisor and those that I have been working with.
Following up/checking in is another thing that sometimes I have a hard time doing. As a grad student/employee/husband/new-father sometimes I get busy and become forgetful of the things that I have going on, and I forget to check in on the assignments that I have and letting people know my progress. I often just work on things, but need to make sure that I am keeping abreast those with whom I am working so they can know I am in fact working on things, and that they and the assignment haven't been forgotten.
We talked about many other things, but overall these were the ideas that stood out to me, that I need to remember that I can ALWAYS learn something from those I am working with and that I need to be better at staying in the loop, and keep others in the loop. The process was very helpful for me, and I believe has cause me to try a bit harder... hopefully it shows.
Monday, March 10, 2014
The right Questions
This last week I was able to work on a case with my supervisor, that addressed a working group conflict. I was given the background information regarding the case, and was able to dissect the issue and talk about it with my supervisor. She then asked me to come up with some questions that we could ask the people of the group that would help us to better understand where they stood, and how we might be of use and service to them. I came up with about 10 questions and then sent them on to her to look over.
I sent the questions over and asked my supervisor to take a look. She looked them over, and then sent me her questions. She asked me what i saw that was different from my questions. She had been able to work at getting to the crux of the situation and heart of the conflict in just a few short questions. Her questions were direct and to the point of the issue, working to move the conflict forward and gauge the interest of the parties to resolve and be proactive. My questions were more gauged at building up the team and assessing their introspective ways of relationship building. While my questions weren't bad questions, they weren't direct in addressing the conflict and were actually much more indirect than they should have been or needed to be.
It was a very helpful exercise for me to understand not only the importance of questions, but the importance of the right questions. I read an article a few years ago by Clayton Christensen that addressed the very issue of asking the right questions. If we don't ask the right questions then we won't get the answers that we need or are looking for. For example, if I am craving an apple, I could ask my wife if there is any more fruit, and she could say yes. If I asked her to please get me an apple, then she could say yes, but also help to achieve the desired outcome. Often times we indirectly ask people the things that we want, like food or gifts, instead of asking directly for the things that we want. Asking the right questions makes all the difference when trying to progress and move toward the desired outcome, whether in satisfying a food craving or helping to resolve a conflict at the workplace.
I sent the questions over and asked my supervisor to take a look. She looked them over, and then sent me her questions. She asked me what i saw that was different from my questions. She had been able to work at getting to the crux of the situation and heart of the conflict in just a few short questions. Her questions were direct and to the point of the issue, working to move the conflict forward and gauge the interest of the parties to resolve and be proactive. My questions were more gauged at building up the team and assessing their introspective ways of relationship building. While my questions weren't bad questions, they weren't direct in addressing the conflict and were actually much more indirect than they should have been or needed to be.
It was a very helpful exercise for me to understand not only the importance of questions, but the importance of the right questions. I read an article a few years ago by Clayton Christensen that addressed the very issue of asking the right questions. If we don't ask the right questions then we won't get the answers that we need or are looking for. For example, if I am craving an apple, I could ask my wife if there is any more fruit, and she could say yes. If I asked her to please get me an apple, then she could say yes, but also help to achieve the desired outcome. Often times we indirectly ask people the things that we want, like food or gifts, instead of asking directly for the things that we want. Asking the right questions makes all the difference when trying to progress and move toward the desired outcome, whether in satisfying a food craving or helping to resolve a conflict at the workplace.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
The Execution...
No, no, no, there was no literal execution of anyone. The title is referring to, and following up on, the last post regarding the preparation and the planning. We were able to have the strategic planning meeting this week, as facilitated by M. She was great, and confident in the plan and her ability to work with this group because we had put in the hours to prepare and understand the scope of the organization and the meeting itself. We had data from surveys, charts, a "sticky wall" and markers galore.
We got there early to be able to set up the room in a manner that would facilitate conversation, and be inclusive of those present. I pulled out my ipad and keyboard to be ready for note taking... and munched on some oatmeal my wife had made for breakfast to take with me. As people came in we greeted them and answered any questions. The only hiccup was regarding the facilities and the ability to "plug-in" to the network to be able to use the projector. It was a very odd configuration as the projector was really nice and new, but pointed slightly toward the ceiling, and all of the cables to connect it were nearly a decade old. Luckily, there were others that came prepared for such a situation, and we set up another projector.
The point of all of this, is that with the preparation and coming ready to a meeting, regardless of what the meeting is for, is always helpful so that you might have a good execution. Being able to execute responsibilities well is, once again, only possible if you are ready and prepared.
We got there early to be able to set up the room in a manner that would facilitate conversation, and be inclusive of those present. I pulled out my ipad and keyboard to be ready for note taking... and munched on some oatmeal my wife had made for breakfast to take with me. As people came in we greeted them and answered any questions. The only hiccup was regarding the facilities and the ability to "plug-in" to the network to be able to use the projector. It was a very odd configuration as the projector was really nice and new, but pointed slightly toward the ceiling, and all of the cables to connect it were nearly a decade old. Luckily, there were others that came prepared for such a situation, and we set up another projector.
The point of all of this, is that with the preparation and coming ready to a meeting, regardless of what the meeting is for, is always helpful so that you might have a good execution. Being able to execute responsibilities well is, once again, only possible if you are ready and prepared.
Meetings, Meetings, Meetings
This weeks was one full of meetings... probably couldn't tell from the title, huh? One of my meetings was to help prep for an upcoming facilitated meeting that we would be doing for an organization working on their strategic plan for the next few years. It was the first meeting with this person, and it was great! We discussed some of the findings that she had from surveys and initial assessment of the organization. She had been working with the director of the program/organization and sent me over the materials beforehand. It was great to be able to sit down and talk openly about what we might do and how we might do it. I loved it because it felt like I was another colleague, and not just an intern.
As soon as I left that meeting, I rushed over to another meeting for an upcoming training. This meeting was also great because I was able to see the process of planning for a training, and the collaborative back and forth between those paying for the service and those providing the training. As appropriate, I also shared my input in this meeting, but I knew that I was not the expert in this meeting and that I was there to observe more than anything (which I appreciated very much). It was actually really nice to observe (and take notes) for the upcoming training and to see what this process looks like.
A couple of days later we met again with another potential partnership and hammered out a few details about what something might look like and how we could make it work. We chatted over coffee and tea, and talked about the potential that this opportunity could have. As this setting was more casual, I was more able to voice my thoughts and opinions, and share some of my experiences from business and work. Once again, I felt more like a colleague than an intern, and was grateful that I could sit in with two great minds working to come together in a collaborative venture. It's in the details and preparation that great things come about, and the meetings of this week were those opportunities to work on the both of these.
As soon as I left that meeting, I rushed over to another meeting for an upcoming training. This meeting was also great because I was able to see the process of planning for a training, and the collaborative back and forth between those paying for the service and those providing the training. As appropriate, I also shared my input in this meeting, but I knew that I was not the expert in this meeting and that I was there to observe more than anything (which I appreciated very much). It was actually really nice to observe (and take notes) for the upcoming training and to see what this process looks like.
A couple of days later we met again with another potential partnership and hammered out a few details about what something might look like and how we could make it work. We chatted over coffee and tea, and talked about the potential that this opportunity could have. As this setting was more casual, I was more able to voice my thoughts and opinions, and share some of my experiences from business and work. Once again, I felt more like a colleague than an intern, and was grateful that I could sit in with two great minds working to come together in a collaborative venture. It's in the details and preparation that great things come about, and the meetings of this week were those opportunities to work on the both of these.
Presentation to Learn
The second week of the internship, while still courting some of the people that I was hoping to work with, I was invited to attend a presentation of one of the potential internship opportunities. I was invited to attend a group of members for an Organization Change and Development for the Oregon/Portland area. As I walked in, I was definitely the youngest member in attendance (by 5-10 years minimum). I went and met the presenter, and then found a seat. After letting my wife know that I had safely made it to the location, I sat back and enjoyed the presentation.
During the presentation the presenter would pause and ask for feedback, ask questions and invite discussion. At a couple of parts we were invited to discuss things in a small group (those at the same table) and see what our thoughts were on how things were "meshing" thus far with our ideas and experiences. Many at the table had been in the position of manager, facilitator or been asked to "intervene" in a hot situation (but not quite as a mediator). The presenter was a mediator and conflict resolver, in particular as someone that specializes in workplace disputes. As someone that is working on a master's in Conflict and Dispute resolution, I was shocked to hear some of the commentary regarding mediation and facilitate dialogue, and that it was seen as manipulative and deceitful. My view of mediation is that of helpful, and providing some of the tools that you have learned to others in order to help others resolve an issue that they would otherwise be unable to resolve themselves. While I don't, and didn't, agree with some of the commentary, I just listened to see how people view the field that I am so interested to enter. It was an enlightening perspective, and informs me that I need to lay some ground work in the beginning so that people know what mediation is, and how it can help. The only way to change the view of others is to show another way, and that can only be done by those that take the time to listen and learn, so that you might help those that you are specifically asked to help. Otherwise, we will be ill equipped to put out any fires.
During the presentation the presenter would pause and ask for feedback, ask questions and invite discussion. At a couple of parts we were invited to discuss things in a small group (those at the same table) and see what our thoughts were on how things were "meshing" thus far with our ideas and experiences. Many at the table had been in the position of manager, facilitator or been asked to "intervene" in a hot situation (but not quite as a mediator). The presenter was a mediator and conflict resolver, in particular as someone that specializes in workplace disputes. As someone that is working on a master's in Conflict and Dispute resolution, I was shocked to hear some of the commentary regarding mediation and facilitate dialogue, and that it was seen as manipulative and deceitful. My view of mediation is that of helpful, and providing some of the tools that you have learned to others in order to help others resolve an issue that they would otherwise be unable to resolve themselves. While I don't, and didn't, agree with some of the commentary, I just listened to see how people view the field that I am so interested to enter. It was an enlightening perspective, and informs me that I need to lay some ground work in the beginning so that people know what mediation is, and how it can help. The only way to change the view of others is to show another way, and that can only be done by those that take the time to listen and learn, so that you might help those that you are specifically asked to help. Otherwise, we will be ill equipped to put out any fires.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Last Term of Internships
Well this is the last term that I will be doing an official internship for the degree. I have really been trying to make an effort to meet up with local practitioners in the field and work with them for my internship. I have done this so that I might be able to see what it looks like to live and work in this field out in the "real" world and not just in the classroom. For this term, I tried to get in touch with old professors that were working in the field, but none of them had anything going on, and were unable to take on an intern. However, one of them gave me the names of some other practitioners. I contacted them, and all of them responded positively, for which I am extremely grateful.
I am really looking forward to this semester, as it seems that I will have a variety of work going on, and different aspects of the "Conflict Resolution" world. I know that I will be helping with facilitation, and presentations, and if I am lucky maybe some mediations. The winter break was much needed to be able to get some rest, and rejuvenation so that I can stay busy and keep working on getting things done for the degree. I have enjoyed it thus far, and look forward to it being over, so that I might be able to get out there and work with people out there, but not have to worry about the burden of the grade. So here is to looking forward for this term.
I am really looking forward to this semester, as it seems that I will have a variety of work going on, and different aspects of the "Conflict Resolution" world. I know that I will be helping with facilitation, and presentations, and if I am lucky maybe some mediations. The winter break was much needed to be able to get some rest, and rejuvenation so that I can stay busy and keep working on getting things done for the degree. I have enjoyed it thus far, and look forward to it being over, so that I might be able to get out there and work with people out there, but not have to worry about the burden of the grade. So here is to looking forward for this term.
Monday, December 16, 2013
Baby!
The last week of the term was spent with my newborn son, Zeppelin. It has been wonderfully exciting and tiring. School, work, internship and a baby make for a busy dad. However, no matter how tired I am, I can't help but give thanks for the blessing of having the best distraction a guy could ask for, a happy and healthy baby.
Reading Week
This last week was more of a catch-up week as I was working on wrapping things up. I spent the majority of the week reading and going over the meeting summaries. It has been helpful and beneficial.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Looking Back
As I look back on this last semester and working with these practitioners, I can't help but feel so blessed. I feel as though I have been able to work with some of the best people in the field, and have been able to work with a group that was not only in need of help, but very willing to receive it. I think about the first meetings and how we talked for hours about this organization and what we could bring to the table to help them. It was in that meeting that I became really excited for the semester because my voice was heard. I wasn't just a fly on the wall, which would have been great with me to sit back and observe how the pro's do it, but I was able to speak and be heard. It was a nice reminder that everyone has something to offer, and to teach us. We need to remember to be patient and kind, and look for the good in what people share. You can never teach a bad lesson to a good student, and if we are good students we will constantly be learning.
I did my best to be a good student and to work hard to observe best practices from experienced practitioners of Conflict Resolution. I thoroughly enjoy the work, and love the principles found therein. I enjoy my current job, and what I have learned, but can't wait to be able to work more in the area that I am passionate about. Having been able to work with an organization for an extended period of time helped me to understand the complexity of it all, and to reaffirm my love for the field and all that it has to offer. I truly hope that someday I am able to provide similar services to the ones that I had the privilege to observe over the course of this semester.
I did my best to be a good student and to work hard to observe best practices from experienced practitioners of Conflict Resolution. I thoroughly enjoy the work, and love the principles found therein. I enjoy my current job, and what I have learned, but can't wait to be able to work more in the area that I am passionate about. Having been able to work with an organization for an extended period of time helped me to understand the complexity of it all, and to reaffirm my love for the field and all that it has to offer. I truly hope that someday I am able to provide similar services to the ones that I had the privilege to observe over the course of this semester.
Remembering Humanity
As I walked around the hotel getting ready for the meeting, I was reminded quickly of how easily we can forget the differences that make us human. I walked into the room and arranged some of the chairs, made sure that the glasses had water and that there were no wires or cords for people to trip on (after all, we are working with a group of visually impaired business people). In walked a couple of people from the group, and I said hello, while forgetting for a split second that they had only met me once before in person, and that my voice wasn't all that special to remember... and that they could only have seen me partially blurred at best. Thus, I was reminded that we can be too quick to forget the things that make us unique and different. I then reminded them who I was and what I was doing there, and asked if they needed anything.
After a while we started to go around the room, when working on the consensus process spoken of earlier, and were voicing our opinions and thoughts on the matters at hand. We had most of the people physically present, but had a few on the phone, and were having difficulties hearing them, and they us. We talked with the hotel and were able to acquire a microphone. I had the pleasure, as the intern, to go around the room and help people to use the microphone when it was their turn so that everyone could hear each other. Once again, as I approached the first person, I stretched forth the microphone to hand it to the person, but being visually impaired they did not see this. I felt so silly... but remembered my experience earlier and just thought that I was still learning the culture of this organization and people, and needed another reminder of that. After that I started to understand how to instruct people on when to speak, how close to hold it to their mouth, and when it was appropriate to hand it to them, in a manner that they could receive it.
While this wasn't the best day for me, and my lack of thoughtfulness and understanding for this group of people, I was very grateful for the reminder of the humanity of all of us, and that we need to remember how different and unique everyone is... and that THAT is what makes us human... and humanity.
After a while we started to go around the room, when working on the consensus process spoken of earlier, and were voicing our opinions and thoughts on the matters at hand. We had most of the people physically present, but had a few on the phone, and were having difficulties hearing them, and they us. We talked with the hotel and were able to acquire a microphone. I had the pleasure, as the intern, to go around the room and help people to use the microphone when it was their turn so that everyone could hear each other. Once again, as I approached the first person, I stretched forth the microphone to hand it to the person, but being visually impaired they did not see this. I felt so silly... but remembered my experience earlier and just thought that I was still learning the culture of this organization and people, and needed another reminder of that. After that I started to understand how to instruct people on when to speak, how close to hold it to their mouth, and when it was appropriate to hand it to them, in a manner that they could receive it.
While this wasn't the best day for me, and my lack of thoughtfulness and understanding for this group of people, I was very grateful for the reminder of the humanity of all of us, and that we need to remember how different and unique everyone is... and that THAT is what makes us human... and humanity.
Collaboration
Now that we have taught and worked on the ability to build consensus, I would like to now address the ability to collaborate. In the middle portion of the consensus process talked about in the last post, we saw that there is an opportunity to talk about the reservations that people have. It is in this process, or period, that relationships can be strengthened and collaboration can occur.
The relationship is strengthened because there is an open and honest discussion about whatever the issues may be that are holding a person back from moving forward, or having the desire to move forward with a proposed idea. Typically the discussion would contain many questions that help to understand a person's point of view, such as: "why do you feel that way?", "what would help to change your mind?", "Is there anything else that is bothering you regarding this idea or process that you have not yet voiced?". These are just a few examples of questions that can be and are often used to be able to know how a person is feeling at this point in the process. The second question in those examples is where I think some of the most power comes from in the collaborative process.
To be able to talk about what might change a person's mind is key in the step of building ideas and new strategies to move forward as a group. In the group that we are working with, this was demonstrated with scheduling, and what day of the week would work best for some people to meet and talk about future actions of the group. They talked about what days would be best, and then asked the small percentage of people that couldn't do the day that most people could, why they could'nt do that day. After a few minutes, they were able to decide a day and a time that would fits nearly everybody's schedule, and were able to successfully collaborate on an issue for the betterment of the group as a whole. It was great to watch, and a great lession on collaboration.
Consensus Building
We had a meeting with the group over the last weekend, and talked about how to build consensus. We first talked about how things had been going since the last meeting/training. It's important to check in to be able to feel out the environment as well as hear any important feedback or concerns since the last meeting. This is also a time where you can check on any assignments or tasks that were asked to be done at the last meeting. And so, we did this, we checked in with people and addressed any concerns that were raised. It went very well.
We then talked about how a group can work together to build consensus. The process that we used and explained to them was based on a number system. You used numbers 1-5, and each number represents a feeling or disposition for the item at hand. For example, if we were talking about making banana break for the neighbors down the street, and we were a family of four, we would go around to all four members of the family and asked how they felt about the idea. Mom says a 2, which would mean that she would be okay with it, but that it wouldn't be her first choice. Dad says he is a 1, which would mean that he was all for it and had no reservations. Susie says she is a 1, so she also has no reservations. Johnny says that he is a 4, meaning that he REALLY doesn't want to do it, and his reasoning is that the neighbor's little boy was picking on Johnny the other day at school and making fun of him.
The process would be to ask the numbers, and then go around again to see what the reservations are for each of the individuals. We would then discuss these reservations and look into possible other options and ways to address the concerns that exist. After coming up with ideas, and putting them into place, we would then go around again and ask the individuals what their NEW number is, now that the concerns have been addressed. Depending on how this goes, you may need to repeat this process, or decide that you will be operating on a majority vote basis.
This is only one way to build consensus. This is the way that we taught the group, and helped them to practice it with the real concerns that they had as an organization. Overall, I think that it went really well, but could tell that the directions could be slightly confusing. I think a part of that was that people weren't able to have directions in front of them because of their impairments with vision. Depending on the group, you would just need to figure out how to best explain the process to the group. The idea here is to help build the unity in the group and to then strengthen the organization.
We then talked about how a group can work together to build consensus. The process that we used and explained to them was based on a number system. You used numbers 1-5, and each number represents a feeling or disposition for the item at hand. For example, if we were talking about making banana break for the neighbors down the street, and we were a family of four, we would go around to all four members of the family and asked how they felt about the idea. Mom says a 2, which would mean that she would be okay with it, but that it wouldn't be her first choice. Dad says he is a 1, which would mean that he was all for it and had no reservations. Susie says she is a 1, so she also has no reservations. Johnny says that he is a 4, meaning that he REALLY doesn't want to do it, and his reasoning is that the neighbor's little boy was picking on Johnny the other day at school and making fun of him.
The process would be to ask the numbers, and then go around again to see what the reservations are for each of the individuals. We would then discuss these reservations and look into possible other options and ways to address the concerns that exist. After coming up with ideas, and putting them into place, we would then go around again and ask the individuals what their NEW number is, now that the concerns have been addressed. Depending on how this goes, you may need to repeat this process, or decide that you will be operating on a majority vote basis.
This is only one way to build consensus. This is the way that we taught the group, and helped them to practice it with the real concerns that they had as an organization. Overall, I think that it went really well, but could tell that the directions could be slightly confusing. I think a part of that was that people weren't able to have directions in front of them because of their impairments with vision. Depending on the group, you would just need to figure out how to best explain the process to the group. The idea here is to help build the unity in the group and to then strengthen the organization.
Rocking Chair revisited
Maybe it was fate or maybe it was a sign from the universe, but the post on the Rocking Chair Syndrome has come full circle with an event during the week following the post. I know that I am a little late in writing about this, but better late than never.
The group that I have been working with has been very impressive, to say the least, at working together in group meetings and being able to articulate some of their needs and desires for the group. The group gatherings seem to be very productive, at least from what I have been able to see so far. However, what I have noticed is that the meetings are a front, and people will put on a good show for one another, in hopes that they might win over the majority vote in the public eye. What happens after the meetings is that some of the true wishes and desires surface, and some of the steps and progress that had been made at the previous meeting is then undermined and cut down. Please don't mistake my words for saying that there are people who lie and deceive and are only good people in meetings; that is not what I am saying here. All of these people are good people, and have the best intentions, but seem to not be completely open with one another in a group setting. This is not uncommon by any means as there are many people that would like to save face in the public eye and speak their peace in private.
Now, in terms of progress, this causes the work to move forward, and then back a couple of steps... just like a rocking chair. The ideas are shared and progress is made in the meetings, but then afterward, the unspoken words and thoughts cause grounds for regression and more meetings because what appeared to have been resolved is really just beginning to surface. This is not all bad when looking at the big picture, so long as what's beneath the surface really does come out eventually, but if practiced for an extended period of time, the damage caused to the organization and group could become too much for worthwhile repair. Redemption is never completely out of reach for people, but for organizations that are trying to accomplish something, sometimes the time does indeed pass and it is no longer a viable option to continue together. Let us continually be aware of the Rocking Chair Syndrome.
The group that I have been working with has been very impressive, to say the least, at working together in group meetings and being able to articulate some of their needs and desires for the group. The group gatherings seem to be very productive, at least from what I have been able to see so far. However, what I have noticed is that the meetings are a front, and people will put on a good show for one another, in hopes that they might win over the majority vote in the public eye. What happens after the meetings is that some of the true wishes and desires surface, and some of the steps and progress that had been made at the previous meeting is then undermined and cut down. Please don't mistake my words for saying that there are people who lie and deceive and are only good people in meetings; that is not what I am saying here. All of these people are good people, and have the best intentions, but seem to not be completely open with one another in a group setting. This is not uncommon by any means as there are many people that would like to save face in the public eye and speak their peace in private.
Now, in terms of progress, this causes the work to move forward, and then back a couple of steps... just like a rocking chair. The ideas are shared and progress is made in the meetings, but then afterward, the unspoken words and thoughts cause grounds for regression and more meetings because what appeared to have been resolved is really just beginning to surface. This is not all bad when looking at the big picture, so long as what's beneath the surface really does come out eventually, but if practiced for an extended period of time, the damage caused to the organization and group could become too much for worthwhile repair. Redemption is never completely out of reach for people, but for organizations that are trying to accomplish something, sometimes the time does indeed pass and it is no longer a viable option to continue together. Let us continually be aware of the Rocking Chair Syndrome.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Rocking Chair Syndrome
A few years ago I was getting ready to go and teach my religious values and principles to the wonderful people of Chile. As I was preparing and being taught how to be a missionary, I distinctly remember one lesson from our teacher, Chris, who taught us about what he called "The rocking chair syndrome". He talked about people, and how at times we can become like a rocking chair. We are trying to take on many things at one time and become very engaged in the daily habits that we feel as though we are moving forward. However, when we look closer, we see that we are actually pushing forward, and then riding back a bit every day, just as a rocking chair. We are not actually making much progress, because the design of the rocking chair is such that it physically takes much more energy to move it forward in a geographical way.
The reason for the lesson was to teach us that we need to be more aware of what we are doing in our daily lives, and if we are actually progressing and covering ground or if we are moving back and forth like the rocking chair.
The reason that I bring this up is because I have seen the same thing happen in organizations. An organization will focus much effort on the daily grind of tasks, and lose focus of the bigger picture. No progress is made. Until we are able to look at the bigger picture, and determine how we can actually progress and cover ground, we won't be able to promote positive change or produce healthy results of conflict. It is helpful for many organizations to have a mission that they periodically review and see if they are indeed making progress to achieve the mission, or if they are just filling their days with busy work. Hopefully we are not like the rocking chair, whether that is in our personal life or whether that is in our organizational environment.
The reason for the lesson was to teach us that we need to be more aware of what we are doing in our daily lives, and if we are actually progressing and covering ground or if we are moving back and forth like the rocking chair.
The reason that I bring this up is because I have seen the same thing happen in organizations. An organization will focus much effort on the daily grind of tasks, and lose focus of the bigger picture. No progress is made. Until we are able to look at the bigger picture, and determine how we can actually progress and cover ground, we won't be able to promote positive change or produce healthy results of conflict. It is helpful for many organizations to have a mission that they periodically review and see if they are indeed making progress to achieve the mission, or if they are just filling their days with busy work. Hopefully we are not like the rocking chair, whether that is in our personal life or whether that is in our organizational environment.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
The role of Compassion
As I have been thinking about my experiences with people that are dealing with different types of conflict, I can't help but think about the role that compassion MUST play in order for something to get resolved. By "compassion" I mean the love and mercy that comes with treating another person as they wish to be treated, with equality and meaning. We are all human, and have an innate desire to be recognized and validated as a person of value and significance. This doesn't mean that we all wish to become great symbols of excellence or success, although some do, but rather to be important to another person (at least one).
We need to have compassion on ourselves in order to be humble enough to seek forgiveness of ourselves and others. We need to have compassion to give and offer forgiveness to another. We need to have compassion for those that may be passing through hard times. We need to have compassion for those with whom we are having conflict, in order to overcome our differences and to be able to once again see each other as validated human beings of importance and worth.
We all pass through times in our lives that we are also in need of compassion from others. We need compassion for the hard times we pass. We need to receive compassion when seeking forgiveness. We need to receive compassion when in conflict with another, to be able to be seen by another, and to see another, as a human being of worth and value.
In my opinion, we are all important, valuable and human beings of great worth. We all serve a purpose and are to help one another in those times of need. We need to have compassion for each other, because we are not perfect, and after all, we are human.
We need to have compassion on ourselves in order to be humble enough to seek forgiveness of ourselves and others. We need to have compassion to give and offer forgiveness to another. We need to have compassion for those that may be passing through hard times. We need to have compassion for those with whom we are having conflict, in order to overcome our differences and to be able to once again see each other as validated human beings of importance and worth.
We all pass through times in our lives that we are also in need of compassion from others. We need compassion for the hard times we pass. We need to receive compassion when seeking forgiveness. We need to receive compassion when in conflict with another, to be able to be seen by another, and to see another, as a human being of worth and value.
In my opinion, we are all important, valuable and human beings of great worth. We all serve a purpose and are to help one another in those times of need. We need to have compassion for each other, because we are not perfect, and after all, we are human.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
The blind leading the Blind
This semester I am working on a new style of internship in the sense that I am not working with one single organization. Rather, I am trying to work with a consortium of practitioners in the greater Portland area, to be able to further understand the capacity of the field and how it can be applied in a variety of sub-fields. As such I am hoping that my blogs will be experiences from different opportunities and that I can develop a great awareness of how one can help in a variety of ways, given my area of studies. This came about after talking with one of my professors, who practices in a variety of different arenas, and who has a group of friends doing the same thing, who all get together and talk about it once a month or so. She pitched the idea to the group, and a few of them decided to accept me as a quasi-intern for the group. I am very grateful for her and being willing to talk with her friends in practice.
The first opportunity is with an organization that helps blind business men and women in the state of Oregon. There has been a lot of prep in the front end of trying to understand the organization and how it works, its strengths and its weaknesses. There is a meeting with them in which all of these findings of the organization are discussed, which went great, and caused reflection (resulting in the title of this post). However, before getting to that I just want to say that this experience has been great so far, and has been similar to what I would actually like to do when I graduate. I would love to go into an organization, study its culture and the needs that it has, and then work to coordinate the implementation of those needs into the culture, to create a new and strengthened organizational culture. This would mix my passion for culture, business and conflict resolution into one amazing job... here is to wishing and hoping!!
Okay, back to the lesson and observation of the day's meeting with the blind. First off, this was a very entertaining and fun group of people, even while talking about serious matters. They poked fun at each other for not being able to read or see, and had a number of jokes about being blind. It was fascinating to me, because the group was just like every other cultural group, when it is together. They are comfortable and understanding of the life of each other, including the good times and hardships. They joke from a point of love and understanding. The tease from a place of equality and compassion. This was a unique glimpse into a culture and world that I have had seldom opportunity to interact with. Especially in the setting of working together with them, to strengthen their organization. A glimpse into a world that is seldom seen, due to the minority of the population in which we live can help to provide grounding and understanding to those that live adjacent to that world, and what an experience and gift it can be.
As I sat in the room with blind leaders (organizational leaders and people who own and operate businesses, who are blind), I thought to myself, whoever uses the phrase "The blind leading the blind", in a demeaning or belittling way, has clearly never spent a few hours with the blind.
The first opportunity is with an organization that helps blind business men and women in the state of Oregon. There has been a lot of prep in the front end of trying to understand the organization and how it works, its strengths and its weaknesses. There is a meeting with them in which all of these findings of the organization are discussed, which went great, and caused reflection (resulting in the title of this post). However, before getting to that I just want to say that this experience has been great so far, and has been similar to what I would actually like to do when I graduate. I would love to go into an organization, study its culture and the needs that it has, and then work to coordinate the implementation of those needs into the culture, to create a new and strengthened organizational culture. This would mix my passion for culture, business and conflict resolution into one amazing job... here is to wishing and hoping!!
Okay, back to the lesson and observation of the day's meeting with the blind. First off, this was a very entertaining and fun group of people, even while talking about serious matters. They poked fun at each other for not being able to read or see, and had a number of jokes about being blind. It was fascinating to me, because the group was just like every other cultural group, when it is together. They are comfortable and understanding of the life of each other, including the good times and hardships. They joke from a point of love and understanding. The tease from a place of equality and compassion. This was a unique glimpse into a culture and world that I have had seldom opportunity to interact with. Especially in the setting of working together with them, to strengthen their organization. A glimpse into a world that is seldom seen, due to the minority of the population in which we live can help to provide grounding and understanding to those that live adjacent to that world, and what an experience and gift it can be.
As I sat in the room with blind leaders (organizational leaders and people who own and operate businesses, who are blind), I thought to myself, whoever uses the phrase "The blind leading the blind", in a demeaning or belittling way, has clearly never spent a few hours with the blind.
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