Collaboration

Now that we have taught and worked on the ability to build consensus, I would like to now address the ability to collaborate. In the middle portion of the consensus process talked about in the last post, we saw that there is an opportunity to talk about the reservations that people have. It is in this process, or period, that relationships can be strengthened and collaboration can occur. 

The relationship is strengthened because there is an open and honest discussion about whatever the issues may be that are holding a person back from moving forward, or having the desire to move forward with a proposed idea. Typically the discussion would contain many questions that help to understand a person's point of view, such as: "why do you feel that way?", "what would help to change your mind?", "Is there anything else that is bothering you regarding this idea or process that you have not yet voiced?". These are just a few examples of questions that can be and are often used to be able to know how a person is feeling at this point in the process. The second question in those examples is where I think some of the most power comes from in the collaborative process. 

To be able to talk about what might change a person's mind is key in the step of building ideas and new strategies to move forward as a group. In the group that we are working with, this was demonstrated with scheduling, and what day of the week would work best for some people to meet and talk about future actions of the group. They talked about what days would be best, and then asked the small percentage of people that couldn't do the day that most people could, why they could'nt do that day. After a few minutes, they were able to decide a day and a time that would fits nearly everybody's schedule, and were able to successfully collaborate on an issue for the betterment of the group as a whole. It was great to watch, and a great lession on collaboration. 

Consensus Building

We had a meeting with the group over the last weekend, and talked about how to build consensus. We first talked about how things had been going since the last meeting/training. It's important to check in to be able to feel out the environment as well as hear any important feedback or concerns since the last meeting. This is also a time where you can check on any assignments or tasks that were asked to be done at the last meeting. And so, we did this, we checked in with people and addressed any concerns that were raised. It went very well.

We then talked about how a group can work together to build consensus. The process that we used and explained to them was based on a number system. You used numbers 1-5, and each number represents a feeling or disposition for the item at hand. For example, if we were talking about making banana break for the neighbors down the street, and we were a family of four, we would go around to all four members of the family and asked how they felt about the idea. Mom says a 2, which would mean that she would be okay with it, but that it wouldn't be her first choice. Dad says he is a 1, which would mean that he was all for it and had no reservations. Susie says she is a 1, so she also has no reservations. Johnny says that he is a 4, meaning that he REALLY doesn't want to do it, and his reasoning is that the neighbor's little boy was picking on Johnny the other day at school and making fun of him.

The process would be to ask the numbers, and then go around again to see what the reservations are for each of the individuals. We would then discuss these reservations and look into possible other options and ways to address the concerns that exist. After coming up with ideas, and putting them into place, we would then go around again and ask the individuals what their NEW number is, now that the concerns have been addressed. Depending on how this goes, you may need to repeat this process, or decide that you will be operating on a majority vote basis.

This is only one way to build consensus. This is the way that we taught the group, and helped them to practice it with the real concerns that they had as an organization. Overall, I think that it went really well, but could tell that the directions could be slightly confusing. I think a part of that was that people weren't able to have directions in front of them because of their impairments with vision. Depending on the group, you would just need to figure out how to best explain the process to the group. The idea here is to help build the unity in the group and to then strengthen the organization.

               

Rocking Chair revisited

Maybe it was fate or maybe it was a sign from the universe, but the post on the Rocking Chair Syndrome has come full circle with an event during the week following the post. I know that I am a little late in writing about this, but better late than never.

The group that I have been working with has been very impressive, to say the least, at working together in group meetings and being able to articulate some of their needs and desires for the group. The group gatherings seem to be very productive, at least from what I have been able to see so far. However, what I have noticed is that the meetings are a front, and people will put on a good show for one another, in hopes that they might win over the majority vote in the public eye. What happens after the meetings is that some of the true wishes and desires surface, and some of the steps and progress that had been made at the previous meeting is then undermined and cut down. Please don't mistake my words for saying that there are people who lie and deceive and are only good people in meetings; that is not what I am saying here. All of these people are good people, and have the best intentions, but seem to not be completely open with one another in a group setting. This is not uncommon by any means as there are many people that would like to save face in the public eye and speak their peace in private.

Now, in terms of progress, this causes the work to move forward, and then back a couple of steps... just like a rocking chair. The ideas are shared and progress is made in the meetings,  but then afterward, the unspoken words and thoughts cause grounds for regression and more meetings because what appeared to have been resolved is really just beginning to surface. This is not all bad when looking at the big picture, so long as what's beneath the surface really does come out eventually, but if practiced for an extended period of time, the damage caused to the organization and group could become too much for worthwhile repair. Redemption is never completely out of reach for people, but for organizations that are trying to accomplish something, sometimes the time does indeed pass and it is no longer a viable option to continue together. Let us continually be aware of the Rocking Chair Syndrome.

Rocking Chair Syndrome

A few years ago I was getting ready to go and teach my religious values and principles to the wonderful people of Chile. As I was preparing and being taught how to be a missionary, I distinctly remember one lesson from our teacher, Chris, who taught us about what he called "The rocking chair syndrome". He talked about people, and how at times we can become like a rocking chair. We are trying to take on many things at one time and become very engaged in the daily habits that we feel as though we are moving forward. However, when we look closer, we see that we are actually pushing forward, and then riding back a bit every day, just as a rocking chair. We are not actually making much progress, because the design of the rocking chair is such that it physically takes much more energy to move it forward in a geographical way.

The reason for the lesson was to teach us that we need to be more aware of what we are doing in our daily lives, and if we are actually progressing and covering ground or if we are moving back and forth like the rocking chair.

The reason that I bring this up is because I have seen the same thing happen in organizations. An organization will focus much effort on the daily grind of tasks, and lose focus of the bigger picture. No progress is made. Until we are able to look at the bigger picture, and determine how we can actually progress and cover ground, we won't be able to promote positive change or produce healthy results of conflict. It is helpful for many organizations to have a mission that they periodically review and see if they are indeed making progress to achieve the mission, or if they are just filling their days with busy work. Hopefully we are not like the rocking chair, whether that is in our personal life or whether that is in our organizational environment.

The role of Compassion

As I have been thinking about my experiences with people that are dealing with different types of conflict, I can't help but think about the role that compassion MUST play in order for something to get resolved. By "compassion" I mean the love and mercy that comes with treating another person as they wish to be treated, with equality and meaning. We are all human, and have an innate desire to be recognized and validated as a person of value and significance. This doesn't mean that we all wish to become great symbols of excellence or success, although some do, but rather to be important to another person (at least one).

We need to have compassion on ourselves in order to be humble enough to seek forgiveness of ourselves and others. We need to have compassion to give and offer forgiveness to another. We need to have compassion for those that may be passing through hard times. We need to have compassion for those with whom we are having conflict, in order to overcome our differences and to be able to once again see each other as validated human beings of importance and worth.

We all pass through times in our lives that we are also in need of compassion from others. We need compassion for the hard times we pass. We need to receive compassion when seeking forgiveness. We need to receive compassion when in conflict with another, to be able to be seen by another, and to see another, as a human being of worth and value.

In my opinion, we are all important, valuable and human beings of great worth. We all serve a purpose and are to help one another in those times of need. We need to have compassion for each other, because we are not perfect, and after all, we are human.

The blind leading the Blind

This semester I am working on a new style of internship in the sense that I am not working with one single organization. Rather, I am trying to work with a consortium of practitioners in the greater Portland area, to be able to further understand the capacity of the field and how it can be applied in a variety of sub-fields. As such I am hoping that my blogs will be experiences from different opportunities and that I can develop a great awareness of how one can help in a variety of ways, given my area of studies. This came about after talking with one of my professors, who practices in a variety of different arenas, and who has a group of friends doing the same thing, who all get together and talk about it once a month or so. She pitched the idea to the group, and a few of them decided to accept me as a quasi-intern for the group. I am very grateful for her and being willing to talk with her friends in practice.

The first opportunity is with an organization that helps blind business men and women in the state of Oregon. There has been a lot of prep in the front end of trying to understand the organization and how it works, its strengths and its weaknesses. There is a meeting with them in which all of these findings of the organization are discussed, which went great, and caused reflection (resulting in the title of this post). However, before getting to that I just want to say that this experience has been great so far, and has been similar to what I would actually like to do when I graduate. I would love to go into an organization, study its culture and the needs that it has, and then work to coordinate the implementation of those needs into the culture, to create a new and strengthened organizational culture. This would mix my passion for culture, business and conflict resolution into one amazing job... here is to wishing and hoping!!

Okay, back to the lesson and observation of the day's meeting with the blind. First off, this was a very entertaining and fun group of people, even while talking about serious matters. They poked fun at each other for not being able to read or see, and had a number of jokes about being blind. It was fascinating to me, because the group was just like every other cultural group, when it is together. They are comfortable and understanding of the life of each other, including the good times and hardships. They joke from a point of love and understanding. The tease from a place of equality and compassion. This was a unique glimpse into a culture and world that I have had seldom opportunity to interact with. Especially in the setting of working together with them, to strengthen their organization. A glimpse into a world that is seldom seen, due to the minority of the population in which we live can help to provide grounding and understanding to those that live adjacent to that world, and what an experience and gift it can be.

As I sat in the room with blind leaders (organizational leaders and people who own and operate businesses, who are blind), I thought to myself, whoever uses the phrase "The blind leading the blind", in a demeaning or belittling way, has clearly never spent a few hours with the blind.

Centro Reflection and Progress

    Wow, the term is completely over now. It has been a great experience for me to be able to work with Centro Latinoamericano in Eugene. They are such a wonderful non-profit and are doing great work for the Latin community. As the term wrapped up, I was working on trying to get some next steps figured out a bit more. I was able to talk with some Oregon based organizations that are working in Intercultural Conflict Resolution, to be able to get an idea of what training might cost for the resource center of mediation here at Centro. The conversation with the organizations went well. I was able to get a rough idea of what some places would charge for an intercultural training, to work within multiple cultures performing conflict resolution services, namely mediation. The cost of training in such a capacity, at least from what I have found, has been more than we expected. The good thing is that for me, if I were to continue down this path and could train in this capacity I would be able to make a decent living. The bad thing, is that for those that are trying to do a public service for low costs, the amount of money required to receive sufficient training is almost impossible to find the funds.
    Even though the internship is technically over, I will continue to submit proposals to organizations that might be able to help with the training, at some more slightly cost beneficial prices. We are also working to develop relationships with the school, community, and CRES program to further the progress that we have made in the attempts to provide a mediation resource center to the Latina Community. I will miss being so close to the organization (as I am moving to another city) but will continue to keep in touch and help out in any way that I can. Like I said, it has been a wonderful experience and I have learned a great deal about myself and the capacity that I would like to develop to be able to work interculturally in the world of Conflict Resolution, especially with the Cultura Latina.
     My progress in Conflict Resolution will continue... Thanks for reading!
-David