The right Questions

This last week I was able to work on a case with my supervisor, that addressed a working group conflict. I was given the background information regarding the case, and was able to dissect the issue and talk about it with my supervisor. She then asked me to come up with some questions that we could ask the people of the group that would help us to better understand where they stood, and how we might be of use and service to them. I came up with about 10 questions and then sent them on to her to look over.

I sent the questions over and asked my supervisor to take a look. She looked them over, and then sent me her questions. She asked me what i saw that was different from my questions. She had been able to work at getting to the crux of the situation and heart of the conflict in just a few short questions. Her questions were direct and to the point of the issue, working to move the conflict forward and gauge the interest of the parties to resolve and be proactive. My questions were more gauged at building up the team and assessing their introspective ways of relationship building. While my questions weren't bad questions, they weren't direct in addressing the conflict and were actually much more indirect than they should have been or needed to be.

It was a very helpful exercise for me to understand not only the importance of questions, but the importance of the right questions. I read an article a few years ago by Clayton Christensen that addressed the very issue of asking the right questions. If we don't ask the right questions then we won't get the answers that we need or are looking for. For example, if I am craving an apple, I could ask my wife if there is any more fruit, and she could say yes. If I asked her to please get me an apple, then she could say yes, but also help to achieve the desired outcome. Often times we indirectly ask people the things that we want, like food or gifts, instead of asking directly for the things that we want. Asking the right questions makes all the difference when trying to progress and move toward the desired outcome, whether in satisfying a food craving or helping to resolve a conflict at the workplace.